Despite our Christmas bustling over here at Drammy Towers (so many holiday shows! such fun!), we will, as always, pause for a moment to toast you wonderful Portland theatre people! And we have chosen the perfect malt to do it! Why, you ask? Well, just look a the label!
1. Bowmore has been going since 1779, which is EXACTLY 200 years longer than the Drammys (which, as the Willies, were started in 1979!)
2. We measure whisky in drams, so we can raise a Wee Drammy to you as we wish you the best!
3. There are 12 months in a Drammy Season (mid-May to mid-May), making a whole year, and this malt has been aged 12 years, so, you know, 12!
4. Just look at the name! Bowmore! We wish you HUGE success, and many curtain calls (breaking the legs), which means you will BOW MORE!
5. This malt is from Islay…and YOU slay us every year with your fine work!
6. This particular malt is named Enigma…and who will win the final Drammy Award in the various categories is a secret until the day itself!
7. This is “The Original” malt, and works have to, you know, originate locally to be considered for Drammys!
8. Whisky comes in a bottle, and the Cockney rhyming slang for daring is “bottle,” and you have to have a lot of bottle to dare to do live theatre!
9. Whisky is aged in barrels, and you may have noticed that we are scraping the barrel for reasons to drink this scotch!
10. Macbeth says, “We have scotch’d the snake…,” and Macbeth is a play, and it is The Scottish play, and Bowmore comes from Scotland, and the Drammys are about plays, and Bowmore is a scotch, and yes, I know some texts use “scorched,” but bear with me because…
11. …I really want to get to 12 reasons because of that 12 on the bottle (yes, I know I mentioned it earlier, but I wanted a better reason) but…
12…Dammit! Who needs reasons? You are reason enough. So Bottoms Up! (Bottom is a character in a play, and…oh, shut up!)
We wish you all a wonderful Christmas, and a drammyatic New Year! From all of us here at Drammy Towers… We thank you for your wonderful work, and for allowing us to play a small part in your success!